7 Tips for Finding Fun in Recovery
A fundamental fear of every alcoholic and drug addict is that we'll never be able to have fun again if we quit. The destructive force of addiction still wants us to hang on to our old ideas of fun. This driving force is the great fear of the unknown; and it's precisely what will kill us if we don't find a new way to play without the use of alcohol or drugs.
It is often said that in recovery, "You only have to change one thing; everything." These are not comforting words for a newcomer whose outlook on life is already pretty grim. Next thing you do is tell a newcomer that they have to give up old playmates and playgrounds and their reaction is understandably, "Hey wait a minute, I didn't bargain for all this." Regardless of one's age, early recovery is by all accounts a total re-birth; and learning how to have fun is an essential part of this growing up process.
These 7 tips for finding fun don't tell you what to do for fun but rather what to do to find it in recovery.
1. Work the 12 steps with your sponsor: This may not sound like fun, but this has been a proven path to freedom for millions of alcoholics and drug addicts in recovery. Once we are free, we can find fun in anything we do. We are now free to discover who we really are and what it is we really enjoy doing. Until we work the steps or find some other way to transform our thinking, our choices are kind of limited. Abstinence is but a beginning. Freedom from the bondage of self is how we experience True fun in recovery and in life.
2. Stick with the winners and you'll become one. We are all winners in recovery. However, in an effort to find people to "relate" to, newcomers tend to flock together. Force yourself to be around people with substantial time in recovery; even if it feels like you have nothing in common "socially". You will find them huddled together after the meetings. Get in the huddle and find out what they are all laughing about. Chances are it's not you. If it is you, go ahead and laugh at yourself.
3. Reach out: Be pro-active and initiate an idea or a plan for getting together with a group in recovery. Don't wait for someone to include you in the fellowship plans. That's just asking for resentment.
4. Don't isolate: Isolation keeps us alone in our thoughts which will eventually lead back to, "Hey, I wonder what the old gang is up to?" You know exactly what the old gang is up to and your momentary curiosity is trying to tell you a lie. Don't listen!
5. Get involved in service: Whether it's making coffee, chairing a meeting, or just greeting a newcomer, serving others gets us out of ourselves. You'll get a taste of that freedom I mentioned before; and it feels good.
6. Understand that others don't understand: If you choose to socialize with others not in recovery, don't expect them to understand recovery. If you're new to recovery then you barely understand yourself at this point. Sad but true, most people not in recovery just think you should be able to quit on your own or that it's just a question of will power. Don't be surprised if someone asks you, "Why do you still go to those meetings anyway?" Remember, no one understands another alcoholic or drug addict like another alcoholic or drug addict. Keep your phone list with you at and stay close to those who understand.
7. Don't take yourself so seriously; but take your recovery very seriously! Trust the recovery process and keep it your top priority. Time and time again, our new found enthusiasm to set right all the wrongs of our past negatively influences our priorities. Recovery is an inside job and our ability to find fun and enjoy life will come from inside as well. So lighten up and give yourself a break. Stay in the recovery solution and the fun is sure to follow. What's more, soon you'll be laughing at your old idea of fun; not longing for it.
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